how do relationships work?

Most people enter into relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, rather than what they can put into them.

The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see "show up," not what part of another you can capture and hold.

-- Neale Donald Walsch --

I had the most interesting conversation the other day about a couple I know. They have been married twenty-one years. They have three children and seem as happy and in love today as they did over thirty years ago, when they first got together. My friend said they really seemed to belong together and asked if I knew how they did it. I couldn't really answer her question, but it got me to thinking about this book I read a while back about relationships. It is by Neale Donald Walsh. He says...

“When our reason for relationships is aligned with our soul's reason for being, not only are our relationships understood to be sacred, they are rendered joyful as well."

According to him, a great relationship is one of truth-telling. He says there are five levels 1) you tell the truth about yourself; 2) you tell the truth to yourself about another; 3) you tell the truth about another to yourself; and 4) when you tell the truth about another to that other; 5) you tell the truth to everyone about everything. He also says relationships fail because people enter into them for the wrong reasons; that the only way a relationship can work is for both parties "to agree, consciously, that the purpose of their relationship is to create an opportunity for growth, for full self-expression, for lifting each others lives to their highest potential, for healing every false thought or small idea each has ever had about themselves, and for ultimate reunion with GOD through the communion of their two souls"

are you into flowers, friendship and love?

Sometimes i think my appreciation of friendship and love grew from my love of flowers. Friendship and love are like flowers in our garden - the more flowers receive love (water, sun, nourishment) the more they grow and the more beautiful they become. so it is with friendship and love.  the more we nourish them - through attention, connection, interest, communication, the more they blossom, grow and increase in beauty. it's like the saying by Hans Christian Andersen...

"Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."

The other day, I felt so good, I bought myself a huge bouquet of  flowers. It was wonderful and special because I love flowers. I love their colors and textures. I love their shapes and sizes. I love the ones with a scent and the ones without. I… just love flowers. I firmly believe flowers are beauty and we should fill our arms with flowers and our lives with beauty. I also believe love and friendship are beauty and we should fill our lives to overflowing with love and with friends.

I often wonder why I have such an affinity… attraction for flowers. I think it is because surrounding myself with flowers (and plants) is cultivating my own, personal garden. It is my own slice of sunshine, my own patch of happiness, and every time I look at them or water them, I am enhancing my happiness, my sunshine, my paradise. Every time I water them or spray them or feed them, I am nourishing my environment, and in return, they nourish me. In a sense, I am loving that which loves me back.

Are you speaking words of encouragement?

Two Frogs - a friendship story

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?” The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

Moral: There is the power of life or death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day. A discouraging word can hold them back, hurt their feelings or worse. So be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path, gave a compliment, offer a word of encouragement. The power of words…there is such powers in words that it is sometimes hard to understand an encouraging word can go a long way, can make such a difference in someone's day...in someone's journey.

Friendship is about the words...at least partly. We have to be aware of what we say as friends to our friends. The wrong word can end a friendship just as a couple of supporting words can strengthen one. We must never forget to speak to our friends as we would want them to speak to us - loving, kind, encouraging, supportive. After all,  we all want to be encouraged, supported and uplifted.

So...today...be encouraging, be kind, spread some love. It will come back to you.

-- written by asd --

sista girls cafe - friends for life

sistagirlscafe.blogspot.com

can relationships last?

Once your heart awakens to the need to be in relation with others - be a friend, be a lover, be a partner; the search should begin honestly and, you should know, it is a journey. A journey of self discovery as well as a discovery of the type of relationship you want, the type of people you want to be in relationship with and the type of person you are in a relationship. You should first determine what you are doing right as well as what you are doing wrong. Once you have figured that out, the real journey begins and once the real journey begins; you can never go back. From then on, you should be inflamed with a special longing to seek to be the best that you can be. You should never again choose to linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment with regards to yourself and with regard to your relationships. While the need to be true to who you are can make you reluctant to compromise on your idea of a perfect relationship, it should not hold you back from striving toward the summit of true relationships … to have happy, healthy, loving, connected giving relationships which last forever, weathering all storms.

Having happy, healthy, loving connected relationships – the kind we choose to keep close to our hearts; the kind that will last for the long haul –means being able to fulfill certain requirements. These types of relationships must be, more often than not, consistent, contributing, self-revealing, and trustworthy.  Be consistent with your time and attention. Don’t just be the receiver of the benefits of the relationship, be a giver as well. Share who you truly are; share your hopes, dreams, secrets, and imperfections. Keep secrets and avoid being judgmental. Avoid constant negativity and toxic behavior. Connect with the person you are in relationship with. Be joyful when you are together and when you think of the people with whom you are in relationship.

Truthfully, you won’t always be all these things all the time, your relationships won't be all of these amazing things all the time, and you can't be in relationships without there being misunderstandings and hurt feelings at times. Striving toward these qualities, however, is the basis of lasting relationships. And isn't that really what we all want - to find people who love us and who we love and to have those relationships stand the test of time and trials and LAST!!!

-- written by asd --
photograph from agewise

what would you do if you and a friend were shipwrecked?

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island

The two survivors who have been a good friends, not knowing what else to do, agreed that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.

The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man’s parcel of land remained barren.

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, another ship was wrecked, and the only survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On the other side of the island, there was nothing.

Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing.

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island. The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island.

He considered the other man unworthy to receive God’s blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered.

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, “Why are you leaving your companion on the island”

“My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them,” the first man answered. “His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything.”

“You are mistaken!” the voice rebuked him. “He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings.”

“Tell me,” the first man asked the voice, “What did he pray for that I should owe him anything?”

“He prayed that all your prayers be answered “

What is the point of this friendship story? We are not alone in this world....even when we meditate, dream or pray. we should not just dream for, pray for and meditate for ourselves alone. We should include our loved ones...family members and FRIENDS. There is someone out there meditating, praying or dreaming for the best for us and that is usually a FRIEND. They are our blessings... as we are theirs. We should love them, treasure them, wish the best for them, believe in the best for them and never leave them behind.

--written by asd --

sista girls cafe- friends for life

sistagirlscafe.blogspot.com

photographer unknown

for the lonely and troubled... we are here for you

being there

I know there are those of you out there in the world who are lonely or troubled. May we here be there for you. May we be your rock and your shoulder ... if not in person at least in spirit.

But even I know that is not enough. You must find a way to be there for yourself. For those of you who are lonely, find a church or an organization that interests you and join. Be kind and friendly. Extend the hand of friendship to a fellow member. I am certain it will be received warmly and honestly. Or volunteer to help out somewhere, giving is always rewarded ... as is kindness. Moreover, you will have a good time. Nothing is more rewarding than helping another. It also helps to take your mind off your own problems.

For those of you who are troubled, remember ... we all go through things and even the happiest of people have down days. But, today is a perfect day to begin to heal yourself. Take a walk in the sunshine,let the wind caress your cheeks and play with your hair. Stretch your muscles and fill your lungs with the energy of the world around you. Walking is good for the body and spending time out in the sun is good for you spirit. It can be a real spirit lifter.

As you walk, enjoy the scenery and say a quick thank you for all the sights you wish to experience ... couples in love, couples with children, those well dressed, those in great shape ... whatever it is. By appreciating others with what you have, you let the universe know what is in your heart so that it can bring your heart's desire to you. What we are grateful for we get more of.

Enjoy today having faith in the possibility of tomorrow... and know that we love you and have your back. We were here yesterday, are here today and we will be here tomorrow.  AND ... In The Meantime ...

May you be in a happy and loving relationship

That your heart might remain open

May your relationship fill you with the confidence to be you

That the light of your true nature might shine forth because of their acceptance of you

May acceptance remove all traces of shame from you, replacing that shame with the joy of self acceptance

That their acceptance might help you to allow others to reveal their true nature to you without shame

May your relationships be healing

That you might become a source of healing for others

May your relationships fill you with trust

That trust might allow you to express yourself openly and honestly to yourself and others

May you be filled with a light and loving heart

That your love might fill the air with beauty and kindness

May you be happy

That your happiness might radiate from you to fill the world with sunshine

-- written by asd --
art and picture by unknown

Do you solivagant?

So many of us believe we solivagant - wander alone - through the world. we are believers and dreamers. we  are seekers of light and beauty and serenity. we hope eternally and give love easily. we get our hearts broken and yet continue to love. we fall down and pick ourselves up. we get broken open and find ways to heal ourselves all while trying to help and heal others. we wear rose-colored glasses and refuse to take them off... even when the world tries to beat the light out of us.  and when the world does manage to plunges us into darkness, we find a way to turn on our light.

those of us who solivagant need friends who see into our hearts and understand how we try to survive on our own, how we keep our rose-colored glasses close to our hearts and believe things will all work out. we need people who realized we are strong because of our softness and vulnerability and not in spite of. we need people who know we willingly take on the world for those we love and those in need. we need people who will help us to pick up the pieces when our hearts ...again... break open as life reminds us that it can be a cruel task master.

friends help us to laugh at ourselves, see the lighter side of life. friends remind us to look after ourselves and to do for ourselves for a change. friends help us to live in the real world while  allowing us to dream and share our dreams. because we don't just dream for ourselves we have dreams to spare. friends help us to wake from our dreams and return from our wanderings even if we even if only for a little while

so here's to the dreamers and wanderers; know....  you keep the world full of hope and ever aware. here's to their friends ...you remind them they don't dream alone and don't wander without you keeping tabs on where they are. and here's to all of you on your journeys. may you get there together, each in your own way.

They who solivagant

Are free like the wind

Unsoiled by dirt like the lotus

A light in darkness like the moon

But they are only so until caught

Only alone until sought

Quiet until thought

Rushes in where there was naught

But they just wandering alone

-- written by asd --
photographer unknown

Querencia... standing in your power

So I learned this GREAT word - QUERENCIA. It was defined as “a place from which one’s strength is drawn; where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self”. I thought it was Spanish and so I looked it up in the Merriam –Webster Dictionary to see how Americans defined the word. It said “an area in the arena taken by the bull for a defensive stand in a bullfight”... not quite the same definition.

When I read the American definition, I wondered at the difference. Was it a difference in perception, a difference in nuance, or a difference in culture? I searched online and found a site that defined the word from a Spanish perspective. It said…” In Spain, it is the place in the ring where the wounded bull goes to renew his strength and center himself, ready for a fresh charge…a place in which we know exactly who we are; the place from which we speak our deepest beliefs.”

I like this definition and thought –what a wonderful concept. It defines that which we, as Americans have no word for.  In fact, the author goes on to further define the word. She says… “In Spanish, “querencia” describes a place where one feels safe, a place from which one’s strength of character is drawn, a place where one feels at home. It comes from the verb “quere”, which means to desire, to want.”

I love that. She goes even further in her explanation of the word. She speaks about the bull in the fight and what happens to the bull once he gets wounded. “The wounded bull retreated to a spot to the left of the gate through which he had entered, to rest, it seemed. He had found his querencia: a place where he felt safe and was therefore at his most dangerous. The matador tries not to let the bull find this place, because it increases the danger to himself. For the bull, it is a place where he believes he can survive this unfair game. Unfortunately and cruelly, he almost never does. It is said that if the same bull were to fight more than once in the ring, every matador would die; once an animal learns the game and stands in his power, he cannot be defeated.”

I understand why we don’t have a comparable word in the American language; we do not have bull fights. But for many of us, life is a bullfight and we are the bull. Thankfully, we do not die every time we step into the ring of life. Thankfully, most of us have a querencia to go to. A place where we can lick our wounds, heal and come out fighting once again. A place where we can process what we have learned so we don’t continue to make the same mistakes. A place where we can regroup, refocus and gain a proper perspective. A place from which we, like the bull, can finally learn the game of life and then stand in our power confident we can never be defeated.

So I am grateful for having learned this word. It defines that which we, as Americans have no word for. It is the place where we renew and strengthen ourselves. It is the thing that helps us feel safe. It is the person, or people with whom we feel at home.  For indeed, we know with whom and where we feel most at home. Our bodies tell us, if we listen. There are certain seasons during which we feel more at ease, certain things we rely on to center us and keep us at ease, certain times of day when we feel safe and more relaxed, certain climates, certain foods…even the clothes we wear help us feel more at home.

In learning this word, I realize I have also found a new way to describe the friends with whom I feel at home, the friends with whom I can be my most authentic me, the friends I go to when I have been broken to help me pick up and glue back my pieces. They are my querencia. It is good to know when the world is a bull fight and someone has waved the red flag, if I come out charging but lose the battle, they will be there to help me clean my wounds and will stay with me while my wounds heal to merely scars so that I may go on again. And I hope they/you all know that I am their/your querencia as well.

-- written by asd --
sista girls cafe - friends for life
sistagirlscafe.blogspot.com
photographer unknown

wonderful women wednesday!!! ... gorgeous, amazing chaos

we are all just gorgeous, amazing chaos...

we want to live lives of wild, carefree abandon. but responsibilities, bills, and life steps in and attempts to force a yoke upon us. many of us rebel, fight back. but not enough of us. we are all beautiful, inside and out, but society’s expectations and the expectations of others force us to deny our beauty and adopt the beauty imposed by those who are also not happy with themselves.

but… we… women... we find ways to rise above the malaise of daily existence and the potential humdrum of living. we wear our hearts on our sleeves, share our minds with those willing to listen and allow our spirits to dwell in forests for relaxation. we dance in the rain, sing in public and laugh out loud. we write poetry from our souls, paint from our hearts, sculpt reality into fantasy and create music to love by. we love easily, rarely lose hope, take on the problems of many, strive to help those in need and to heal those in pain. all we ask in return is a safe haven in times of stress, to be loved for who we are, to be truly understood, to be seen beyond the mask we wear, and to not be laughed at when our masks slip.

we are flawed in our beauty, tremulous in our courage, and imperfect in our striving for perfection. we are cracked, broken and often spit upon by the world, but we will fight for those we love and run headfirst into battle to protect the weaker, younger, inexperienced, naive, and unaware. we allow our light to shine through our cracks, use our brokenness to inspire others and turn the spits into stepping stones.

but... we don't do this alone, we are not in this by ourselves. we are each other's friends and as friends, we are each other's candle - we light the way through the darkness of life. our friendships are the wings that help us soar over the inequalities of existing. our friendships keep our hope breathing and our love vibrant. we keep each others songs and share each others dreams. we remember each other's stories. we are each others backbones and we hold each other up when our own legs fail us.

there is an amazing passage from the audio and dvd version of the secret that causes my heart to swell with joy and exhilaration every time i hear it. it describes us and our friendships. it is said by Michael Beckwith. i would like to share it with you...

I believe that you’re great, that there’s something magnificent about you.

Regardless of what has happened to you in your life,

regardless of how young or how old you think you might be,

the moment you began to think properly there’s something within you,

there’s power within you that’s greater than the world,

it will begin to emerge, it will take over your life, it will feed you, it will clothe

you, it will guide you, protect you, direct you, sustain your very existence, if you let it.

Now that is what I know for sure

--written by asd --

sista girls cafe - friends for life

sistagirlscafe.blogspot.com

photograph by unknown

Morning Prayer for you. . . .

Credit to "Christian Life of Faith"

This is our morning prayer for you.  He is a BIG God and He will do BIG thing if you allow Him to.

when friends become real

I Can See Your Scars

I met a friend the other day for lunch. We had been friends for years but because of our lives, didn’t get to see each other often.  We had planned this a while ago though and I was excited to see her.  She was different from most of my friends and that was one reason why my seeing her was a special treat. When she spent time with you, she gave you her undivided attention.  When you were with her, the rest of the world seemed to fade away.  When she looked at you, it felt as if she saw your soul, when she listened it was with her whole self, when she spoke she took her time and though she spoke hesitantly and softly, when she spoke she said much with few words. She was thoughtful, kind, insightful and full of love.

My only complaint was she wanted you to share with her but she was not so quick to share herself. When asked questions about herself or her life, she would ponder long before answering and she didn't say much.  I often got the feeling she felt that she could not share because there was so much more to her than I realized and that I could not handle her answers.

On the day we met for lunch, we had a breakthrough in our friendship. We had finished eating, I had, as usual, told her all about me and my life. But for a change, it was not a long, drawn out conversation. I was in a good place in my life and was grateful for my blessings. I was also learning to listen in the spaces in between conversations and see in the midst of shadows.  I had asked her about her and her life and though she shared, I, for a change, knew there was more. But I also knew she would tell me when she was ready. I sensed that she was feeling out whether she could talk to me. I did not push.

We finished our meal and were lingering over coffee when it happened. It was peaceful as we sipped our drinks and I enjoyed the silence that enveloped us. I looked up at her to comment on the beauty of the afternoon spent with her when I noticed it. Although her head was down, I could see inside her. She appeared as a porcelain doll with scars on her hands and face and arms. I was taken aback at first. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I opened my eyes and looked again. The image had begun to blur but I could still see the vestiges of the scars on her body.

I stared at her in amazement. Maybe that is why she could not talk, could not share, she had been emotionally scarred and was seeking someone who did not need her to help them but who could listen to and help her. I looked at her intently and as I watched, her soul blossomed for me. I looked intently and again I saw her scars.

When she finally looked up at me I saw traces of the scars on her face. I could not help myself. Slowly I asked, “are those scars I see on your soul?”

“Yes they are,” she sighed.

“From where did you get them?” I queried, saddened that she had been unable to share this with me before.

“From a battle I waged.” She answered this in a louder voice, a voice tinged with satisfaction and a tiny hint of pleasure.

Fascinated I asked, “With whom did you battle?” Imagine my surprise and understanding when she slowly said…

“…with myself.”

-- written by asd… with thanks to the FB page that originally  posted a bit  like this. it resonated with me and i turned it into my own.

Sista Girls Cafe - Friends for Life

sistagirlscafe.blogspot.com

photographer unknown

Sunday reflections... sunshine after rain... forgiveness

Well, this morning when i woke up, I noticed the sun trying to smile through the clouds. It is some hours later and the sun is now smiling on us and the day is full of sunshine. It is like making up with a friend after a serious argument.

My people and I have been friends a long time and over the years we have had our share of disagreements. But we have weathered the storms that we have encountered and count ourselves blessed that we have survived the turbulent times we have had to face. The best is that when trouble occurs, we apologize and move on or let go ... whichever works in the situation. Then the sun reappears and its healing rays help us to move on in a healthy manner.

I am thankful that my friendships have been with women and men who don't hold grudges or retaliate. We forgive each other when we feel wronged by each other whether the wrong was intentional or unintentional. I guess it is because we realize there can be no friendship without forgiveness.

It is very hard to forgive ... not impossible, just very hard. It is sometimes easier to forgive strangers because they do not matter to us and cannot hurt us. But forgiveness is necessary if you want your friendship to last and even more important, forgiveness is necessary if you want to maintain your own mental health.

So how do we forgive? How do I forgive? First, I acknowledge my feelings. I accept my feelings and allow myself an opportunity to feel them. Then, I release any poison in me that stems from the incident that causes my anger. I work first on letting go of any grudges, I release any harboring resentments, I stop nursing old wounds. These are damaging, and following up on such negativity can be detrimental in far too many ways.

Then, I work on moving on. I forgive myself for any part I played in the incident and then I let that go. I also try to take my focus away from the incident. I have learned that most people who do things to cause you anger have no idea of your feelings and so your feelings are not hurting them; your feelings are only hurting you. That is so ridiculous, you're miserable but they're happy because they have no idea how you feel. So I work on moving away from focusing my time and energy on the person and the incident. It helps to know that they are not spending all their time worrying about me.

I move on by choosing serenity and happiness over righteous anger. I turn off the broken record in my head that replays replay past hurts in my mind over and over again and choose to think peaceful or happy thoughts. I realize that anger and resentment don’t serve me well and instead give myself a clean slate.

Finally, I decide how important the person who angered me is to me. If I want to maintain our friendship,  I speak to them honestly and openly about the situation and my feelings regarding it. Then, I give them a chance to talk. After we work it out, I leave it there and move on. I don't bring it up or replay it in my mind. I let it go. I forgive, true forgiveness.

This is not an easy process. As I said, forgiveness is not easy. But true friendships are worth it. So today ... let go of past hurts, forgive a friend, work through resentments and then crumble them up like dust and blow all the negativity away. When you are done, call the friend you are steamed at, work it out, forgive and let the healing rays of the sun bring a restorative balm to your soul and your friendship.

You are made from love, for love, to love. Friendship is love. Don't waste it. Enjoy!!!!!!

-- written by asd --
Sista Girls Cafe - Friends for Life
http://sistagirlscafe.blogspot.com/
photograph from brocknrollblogspot

the friends you should treat with tolerance and care

If we could look into each other’s heart and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance and care.

--Soul Vision healing --

such a beautiful quote.

I have an acquaintance, she is a caring individual with a very abrupt, brusque manner. I have a relative, also very caring with a victim mentality. Both of these individuals walk on the wild side when it comes to opinions and don't back down; even when they are the only one, even in the midst of a crowd. They are also needy and don't know how to express their need.

People often tease them about their opinions and talk about them behind their backs. I wish I could say I never participated but that would be a lie. Nowadays, however, instead of participating, I always interject with a reminder that they are caring people who deserve love even if they are different. I try to understand the things that have brought them to where they are, and to at least view them from a place of tolerance.

Therefore, when I read this quote, it touched me. I thought of them immediately and knew I had to share it with you.

I am sure in all of our lives, there are people who push our buttons, who make us a little crazy, who irk our nerves just a bit, who push us to our limits, take us to places we don't want us to go, and bring out in us the things we would rather never see. in the end, we should be grateful for these people, for their presence in our lives. They force us to see who we really are and to...at the same time...be better people.

So, the next time you are with one of these people...friend, relative, acquaintance, step back and try to look at them with eyes and heart wide open. try to see where they are coming from and why they are that way. perhaps you will be able to view them differently and then begin to treat them with caring and tolerance.

I would want that compassionate and loving consideration if I were talking about me. In fact, think about this... you would want that if it were you I was talking about. As a matter of fact... that person I am talking about... just might be me... or... YOU. (LOL)

-- written by asd --
photograper unknown

how to be your own best friend

there are so many things i have learned in this world that are ... for me .... life lessons. one of the biggest involves the use of the phrase "i am". it is true they are powerful because whatever you put after them can... and often does... shape your reality. 'i am fat', 'i am beautiful', 'i am smart', 'i am happy', 'i am a loser', 'i am a winner'. whatever you tell yourself often enough becomes your reality. it is not what you tell the world; it is what you tell yourself. so be your own best friend and tell yourself only good things. 'i am smart', 'i am healthy', 'i am the perfect size', 'i am strong'. as a matter of fact an affirmation i learned from the secret is full of "i am's". let me share it with you...

I AM WHOLE, STRONG, POWERFUL, PERFECT, HAPPY, HEALTHY, LOVING HARMONIOUS

how's that for an "i am" affirmation. say it all the time, every chance you get, every time you think of it. it can only help...

i also believe what you put out is what you get back. i try to put out love and kindness, caring and compassion. i believe if enough people put out positive thoughts and feelings, we will infect the world with goodness and more people will share these feelings and thoughts til we one day have a world filled with people who are living kind, caring, compassionate, connected lives.

i know we all have lessons we have learned from life. here is a list of lessons shared with me today. i would like to share them with you. though i have heard most of them at least once in my life; they all made sense and some of them resonated deeply within me. i hope they all make sense to you and i hope you find some that resonate deep within you.

please remember the goal in life is to be your own best friend. it is good for you - your heart and your soul; and it makes you a better friend to others. these lessons help you accomplish that goal. enjoy them and today and always .... take good care of you...

Written by Regina Brett

"To celebrate growing older, she once wrote the 50 lessons life taught her. It is the most requested column she has ever written.

So here is the column:

1. Life isn't fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.