If loving ME is wrong, I don’t want to be right! Just saying…
Beatrice Bruno, The Drill Sergeant of Life
I’ve been putting some thought into the question of love, for self and for others, but especially for self. Just recently, I came to the conclusion that if we don’t do the following, we will not only do ourselves, but others, a disservice. I discovered that I must love me more than ever just so I can love others.
1. When you really love yourself, you make certain to treat yourself the way you want others to treat you - the way you treat them. Many times, we forget to treat ourselves better. Why? Because we may not love and care for ourselves the way we really need to. In order for us to love our neighbor, we must first love ourselves. That love must be evident in everything we do. Would you kick a friend when he or she is down? Well, conversely, why do you kick yourself when you are down? It may seem crazy, but when we put ourselves down because of some shortcoming, we are inadvertently not showing ourselves love in the way that we should. We must do better with loving ourselves before we can love others properly.
2. When you really love yourself, you are authentic… with yourself as well as with others. Don’t allow yourself to believe something about yourself that’s not true: i.e., negative things others say about you, negative thoughts you have about yourself. By the same token, own up to your shortcomings. Then, make a plan to strengthen yourself in those areas. In doing this, you love yourself enough to admit your weaknesses but also love yourself enough to improve your status and move forward so you can help others. When you do this, you also show others that you are willing to do whatever it takes to improve yourself so you can love them better. Watch what happens when you do this.
3. When you really love yourself, you can let others go. Not everyone in your life is there to stay or really needs to stay. I have a very good friend in NYC that I met around 2010. We have been besties since, even though we live thousands of miles apart and don’t talk on the phone as much as we would like. But, we love each other and believe we are destined to be in each other’s lives for as long as God says. She is one on whom I rely for advice, guidance, and a good swift kick in the spiritual rump when I need it. And she knows she can rely on me for the same. We don’t take advantage of each other, nor do we talk down to each other. We care for each other, definitely not one-sided. We treasure what we have been given. On the other hand, there are others I have had to let go because the toxicity of the relationship has not been conducive for a good situation all the way around.
Start loving yourself more. Not to the point of narcissism, but to the point that you won’t allow anything or anyone to hurt you so that you can’t grown into the awesome person you were created to be.
Take care and God bless!
Beatrice
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