When I speak of the rare, true friendship or the Anam Cara, I do not mean a “like-minded” friendship or a friendship of “kindred spirits”. The dictionary defines kindred spirit as “an individual with the same beliefs, attitudes, or feelings as oneself”. The word “like-minded” is a combination of two Greek words, “isos” which means “equal” and “psuche” which means “soul”. Thus, the complete meaning of “like-minded” therefore is “equal soul”.
I do enjoy having friends who are like-minded. Indeed, a kindred spirit is special; but how do you learn and grow if you share the same feelings, beliefs and attitudes. In order to grow as a person, we must be challenged. That is what a soul mate does. My favorite explanation of soul mates comes from “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. She writes, “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.”
She goes on to say, “ A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…”
I have a friend like that. She makes me crazy because she tells me the truth about myself, whether I like it or not. I listen because I know she loves me and has my best interests at heart. That is a true friend. One who loves you in spite of who you are and is willing to tell you when you need to get it together. Better than that, after she tells, she not only reminds you that she loves you, she shows you. And best of all, she allows you the privilege of doing the same with her. This is how you grow. Friendship is best when it allows you to grow into the best you that you can be; when it allows you to grow into a loving being, open to loving for and from others. That is the kind of friendship I have with her. An anam cara, soulmate friendship. That is the kind of friendship I wish for you.
--written by asd --
art by Sara Jane Szikora
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